unique visitors counter Share your day: May 2005

Friday, May 20, 2005



Those Wonderful Days!

"Class of 2001 - Reunion - 2021", read the banner,
oh! the last 20 years has gone so sooner,
The great college days, I started remembering,
Seems like only yesterday I finished engineering.

Seeing my class mates, after 20 years,
My eyes were filled with tears,
Everyone has changed a lot,
No one escaped nature's plot.

Guys who were smart and handsome,
have become bald and buxom,
Girls who used to fill our dreams,
Almost brought out screams.

Saw the girl, whom once I thought as my life,
oops!, today she is somebody else's wife,
after years, talked to her for a little while,
learned she is happy, that made me smile.

Entered our class' Mr. Romeo,
Who has played many a cameo
We started teasing him together,
About what all he did to-get-her,

Project reviews to campus interviews,
Nicknames to last bench games,
Cultural rehearsals to love proposals,
Short term crushes to class room blushes.

Everything was fresh in our mind,
Wished life could rewind,
Laughed, played and rejoiced,
Once again we became girls and boys.

Chatting and laughing, we all were in elation,
Till the painfull moment of seperation,
It was time to part,
returned with a heavy heart.

Today life is full of commitments,
And too many worries,
But those cherished moments,
Will live forever in our memories..

Sweetly Ever...

Thursday, May 19, 2005



Good,bad,worse

Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.
Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it.
Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other.
Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser. Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice.
Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: To enter a convent.
Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She implicates you.
Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband.
Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.
Good: The secretary said "yes." Bad: Your wife says "no."
Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: So did the postman.
Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in.
Good: You get a three-day weekend. Bad: You get the flu on Friday.
Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.
Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas." Bad: For real.
Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.
Good: Your son's doing extra credit work. Bad: Making a sex ed video.
Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune. Bad: It's counterfeit.
Good: Your wife bought a porn video. Bad: Your daughter's the star.
Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown.
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's coming home.
Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them

Here's how the professors of different subjects define the same word, *kiss*, in different ways:

Here's how the professors of different subjects define the same word, *kiss*, in different ways:

* Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.

* Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.

* Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

* Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

* Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.

* Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

* Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

* Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply.

* Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

* Prof. of Computer Science:
What is a kiss? It looks to be an undefined variable.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005



Sometimes I wonder..........

  • Adam and Eve were the first people on earth............Did they have belly buttons?
  • A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
  • Are unripened oranges called greens?
  • A wise old owl sat on an oak,
  • The more he saw the less he spoke;
  • The less he spoke the more he heard;
  • Why aren't we like that wise old bird?
  • (Edward H. Richards)
  • Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
  • Can it be a mistake that "desserts" gives "stressed" spelled backwards?
  • Could your eyes be called an academy, because there are pupils there?
  • Crime doesn't pay. . .does that mean that my job is a crime?
  • Did Noah include termites on the ark?
  • Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
  • Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?
  • Do fish get thirsty?
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
  • Do penguins have knees?
  • Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
  • Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?
  • Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
  • How do you dial a pushbutton phone?
  • How do you get off a non-stop flight?
  • How can one TV station have the "exclusive" accurate weather? Did they "storm" in and scoop the others?
  • How come wrong numbers are never busy?
  • How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I've only been driving for 10 minutes?
  • How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
  • How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
  • If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
  • If a brown cow eats green grass why is it's milk white?
  • If a giraffe had a sore throat, how many lozenges would it need to make it better?
  • If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  • If a man with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, would it be considered a hostage situation?
  • If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? (S. J. Lec)
  • If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?
  • If a turtle does not have a shell on, is he homeless or naked?
  • If a vegetarian is someone who eats vegetables, what does that make a humanitarian?
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • If beef comes from a cow and ham from a pig, why do they put beef in hamburgers?
  • If corn oil comes from corn....where does baby oil come from? (Richard Lederer)
  • If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
  • If helium existed in a solid form, and you ate it would you get heavier or lighter?
  • If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
  • If love is blind, is lingerie considered Braille?
  • If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they stick Teflon to the pan?
  • If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
  • If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? (Richard Lederer)
  • If someone were to pay you ten cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect five cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?
  • If stores claim to be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, why do they have locks on the doors?
  • If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  • If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
  • If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?
  • If there's so much laborsaving machinery, why don't I have more free time?
  • If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?
  • If the world is spinning so quickly why don't we all get dizzy?
  • If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
  • If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?
  • If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
  • If we weren't meant to keep starting over, would God have granted us monday?
  • If you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius?
  • If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
  • If you're only as old as you feel, how come I can't retire yet? (Robin Alumbaugh)
  • If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
  • If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are your waiting? (Stephen Levine)
  • I have lived through the sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties. Am I now about to live through the noughties?
  • I'm in shape. Round is a shape, isn't it?
  • I never spit in your drink; why do you smoke in my air?
  • I saw a sign that said "seeing eye dogs only" who is supposed to read this? the dog?
  • Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
  • Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
  • Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
  • Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?
  • I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?
  • I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and never his prescription? (Finley Peter Dunne 1867-1936)
  • Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
  • The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?" I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way."
  • Was it a rich or a smart person who said: "Money can't buy happiness."?
  • What do birdies see when they faint?
  • What do butterflies feel when they're in love?
  • What does an atheist do when he drives up behind a car with a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker and that car doesn't move when the traffic light turns green?
  • What do they use to ship styrofoam?
  • What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
  • What exactly is "Unsweetened" iced Tea? Did they take the sugar back out? (W. Lanza)
  • What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
  • What is listed as the hair colour on a drivers license of a bald headed man?
  • What sees a blind man when he's dreaming?
  • What would the world be like without hypothetical situations?
  • When your parents get finished spanking you they say " you better dry it up or I'll give you something to cry for." What do they think that a whipping is.
  • Where does the white go when the snow melts?
  • Who puts the thin ice sign in the middle of the thin ice?
  • Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
  • Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
  • Why are there so many songs for Christmas but barely any for all the other holidays?
  • Why are they called apartments when they are together.
  • Why are wise men and wise guys the exact opposites?
  • Why call it a building if it's already been built?
  • Why can't life's problems hit us when we're 17 and know everything?
  • Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  • Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
  • Why doesn't the fellow who says "I'm no speech maker" let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? (Kin Hubbard)
  • Why does Queen Elizabeth, who has people to put on her make-up, do her hair, and needs no cash or identification carry a purse?
  • Why does the sun on the Raisan Bran cereal box wear sunglasses?
  • Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Why do men have nipples?
  • Why don't people on TV ever go to the bathroom?
  • Why do people have "hot water heaters"? If your water is hot, why heat it?
  • Why do people keep junks in their garage, while put things that worth thousands of dollars out on the driveway?
  • Why do people point at their wrists when they ask what time it is? I know where my watch is! Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
  • Why do people say the alarm went "off" when it actually sounded like it was "on"?
  • Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
  • Why do some displays of "I love you only" Valentine cards sell them in multi-packs?
  • Why do the hours at work drag on endlessly when the years seem to fly past?
  • Why do the sick people have to walk all the way to the back of the pharmacy for medicine when cigarettes can be purchased at the front door?
  • Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?
  • Why do they call it research, when looking for something new?
  • Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
  • Why do they have ear piercing while you wait?
  • Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?
  • Why do they sterilise needles for lethal injections?
  • Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
  • Why do we act like we know what someones talking about when we have no idea?
  • Why do we always want to grow up when we're young and be younger when we're old?
  • Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?
  • Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? (Richard Lederer)
  • Why do we have so much enthusiasm for criticism
  • and so much criticism for enthusiasm?
  • Why do we look in our handkerchiefs after blowing our nose?
  • Why do we say there is nothing on TV tonight when there obviously is something on?
  • Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
  • Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
  • Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
  • Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
  • Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
  • Why is it new and improved? If it's new how can it be an improvement of something and if it's improved how can it be something new?
  • Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
  • Why is it that the uneducated minds always criticize the brilliant minds? (Kelly Nelson)
  • Why is it that when one man kills another, he is hanged as a murderer, but when one man kills millions, he is hailed as a conqueror?
  • Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
  • Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
  • Why is it that you sit in front of your TV and behind your computer?
  • Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? (Richard Lederer)
  • Why is lemonade made with artificial flavoring, while dishwasher soap is made with real lemons?
  • Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
  • Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food?
  • Why is the practice called "fasting" when time passes so slowly when you're doing it?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  • Why lightens the sun our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business", always be followed by, but?
  • Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  • Wouldn't it be strange if the God who made His people free and happy should then give them commands that enslaved them again? Doesn't it seem more likely that what He gave them were rules for remaining free and happy? (Mark Finley)
  • You can't have everything...where would you put it?
  • You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005



Discoveries That Men And Women Made :

Discoveries That Men And Women Made :

The man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,


The woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,

The woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.

The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,

The woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.

The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,

The woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.

The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,

The woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

The man discovered TRADING and invented MONEY,

The woman discovered MONEY and invented SHOPPING.

Thereafter man has discovered and invented a lot of things...


While the women STUCK to shopping.


Saturday, May 14, 2005



hi

hi people
hoping to see all of u soon
my contact no in mumbai is 9892609321
expecting a call from all of u
--ritesh

Thursday, May 12, 2005



Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

.........................................................................

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

.........................................................................

Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

.........................................................................

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

.........................................................................

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

.........................................................................

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

.........................................................................

Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.

.........................................................................

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

.........................................................................

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

.........................................................................

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

.........................................................................

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

.........................................................................

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

.........................................................................

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

.........................................................................

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

.........................................................................

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

.........................................................................

"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk

.........................................................................

"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours

.........................................................................

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

.........................................................................

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

.........................................................................

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

Wednesday, May 11, 2005



My First Step

Hi guys,
I actually thoght that i would get some kind of intimation when things get posted on the net . But today i realised that the blog is up and running. So here comes my first post.
Well nothin to rite.....exams jus got over yest .

And ya congrats to bhavin,sachin,nikhil for their engagement.

Neo

Those who achieve great things

Those who achieve great things are not any smarter or more capable than
others. They have simply decided to make use of what's available to them.

Those who achieve great things encounter challenges, obstacles and problems,
just as everyone else does. Achievers have simply chosen to work their way
through the difficult challenges, rather than be stopped by them.

Those who achieve great things experience plenty of setbacks and
disappointments. They have simply decided to take renewed determination,
instead of discouragement, from those disappointments.

Those who achieve great things have exactly the same amount of time
available in each day as does everyone else. They have simply committed to
making the most of each moment.

Those who achieve great things are not any different than anyone else except
for this. They decide to do it, and then follow through with persistent,
consistent action.

In this way, very ordinary people realize quite extraordinary levels of
achievement. In this way, you can do it too. ;)

Friday, May 06, 2005



A nice Gujju poem :)

Tari Yaad Aave Chhe

scroll karu mari juni yado ne
hyperlink thai ne tu same ave chhe.

ek ek minute tari yad ave chhe

screen saver ni jem tu same ave chhe

Besu chhu kam karva
minimize karu chhu mari badhha window ne
Desktop ni jem tu same ave chhe

delete karu chhu a yado ni file ne
pan thodi thodi vare a recyclebin mathi pachhi ave

chhe.

shutdown karu chhu mari system
to pan shutdown message ma tu ave chhe.

scan karu chhu mari harddisk ne
virus bani ne tu same ave chhe

dial karu chhu isp ne
connection lai ne tu ave chhe



disconnect thai maru connection
reconnect thai tari yad pachhi ave chhe

open karu chhu mara network neighborhood ne
entire network ma khali tuj ave chhe

start karu chhu mara computer ne
to taskbar ma system date ane time bani ave chhe


off karva jau chhu system date ne
to pan taskbar property ma tuj ave chhe.

ghare thi aavu chhu office to
My briefcase ma tu sathe ave chhe.

kholu chhu a yado ni site ne
to home page ni jem tu same ave chhe


banavi rahyo chhu

webastrologer.com

darek kundali ma tu nazar ave chhe

ave chhe error mara programme ma
MSDN Help bani tu ave chhe



compile karu chhu javana programme ne
classpath check kari tu ave chhe

joi a chhe mari system ne power
power code bani tu ave chhe

betho chhu site banavva
domain name bani tu same ave

store karava mangu chhu kaik

Database bani tu ave chhe

select karva mangu chhu
mouse pointer bani tu ave chhe

vicharu chho bijukai jova
najar udi ne tari taraf ave chhe

gherayelo chhu computer processing ma
taskmanager ni rite tu same ave chhe


connection maltu nathi
to pan offline tari yad ave chhe

chalu karu chhu mara monitor ne
256 color ma tu same ave chhe

vichar karu chhu ghani var
su tane pan mari yad ave chhe?.



aavto nathi taro javab to vicharu chhu ke
su kam mane tari aatli badhi yad ave chhe.

check karu chhu mara inbox ne
tara sivay badha na email ave chhe.

jo ave taro email to
to hash manu ke koi ne to mari yad ave chhe.


suki padi gai chhe a yado
Tame malo to taji kari shakay chhe

samji shaku chhu a fast life ne
yad taji karva mate to ek email pan bahu ganay chhe.

jo ave taro reply to
to samju tane mari yad ave chhe

nahi to bijani jem tu pan bhuli jay chhe...

Thursday, May 05, 2005



Lets Go

Hey Yaar. Lets Plan for 2 day trip yaar. I m ready for it and mostly sachin also. Lets plan up somewhere near (maybe Matheran again). Lets decide yaar

our trip..

Boss...
are we going on a trip or not??? please confirm..viral also wanted to know cos he otherwise has to go to gujarat. Ritesh when are you coming back..remember my books ka cd...get as many books as possible...Lingu, hows infy?? Has anyone of you got the book.."Snapshots from Hell"..need it desperately!!!!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005



hello

Hi people!!
sorry for not posting for long time........
enjoying my final days of hostel life....coming back to mumbai soon!
and sachin what heppened to your two day outdoor plan-----never heard anything on it..

Tuesday, May 03, 2005



I m Alive

Hi All,

I m regular viewer of this blog.....its a very good site ....cheers to niks...hsdfhaosnfs..blah...blah...fjshkn...blah... ........ etc....

bye,
Bhaven

No words to say.........

Saumil is right. I don't understand whether you guys/gals are really busy or you feel its a waste of time blogging here. I even have doubts that anybody visits this page.

Monday, May 02, 2005



mar gaye kya saab..

boss..where are you guys..??? one or two posts ka josh and you guys dont post anything more...shame on you...